Thoughts

So, for about a week here I thought I might be pregnant.  Today, turns out not to be so.  Wow, I'm not really sure how I feel about that.  I was feeling a little stress about having another, but at the same time I know that if we did I could never imagine life without them.  But honestly, the actual details of living with a third, might stress me out.  We would definitely need a car that could haul around 3 kids, we would need to either move, or revise our bedroom situations.  Can you stick 3 kids in one room? Do we give up the office?  How will we pay for 3 Montessori school tuition's? I feel some guilt about being relieved.  I'm not sure what to think, do I want to let go of the idea of having 3?  Am I satisfied with what I have?  We have several friends who have babies with issues, should I just be happy with what I have and not tempt the fates?  If we stop now, we are so many steps closer to .... I don't know... independence?  

But Oh... the feelings that a tiny new baby bring on.  I wish that D were gung ho about a 3rd it would be so easy to hop on that wagon.  But he has some trepidation, which makes me worried that I'd be pushing him where he doesn't want to go.  Oh my...